i'm the town cryer & everybody knows
i'm a little down with a lifetime to go
maybe you don't believe my heart is in the right place
why don't you take a good look at my face
other boys use the splendor of their trembling lip
they're so teddybear tender & tragically hip

The name of this site wasn't actually a dedication to a love of teddy bears. The name from an Elvis Costello song called Town Cryer from his album (my favorite? maybe??) Imperial Bedroom. I really love using lyrics for things, so they have a little soundtrack in my head. I always understood the lyric as Elvis wryly complaining about being sad the "wrong" way – like, the other boys are prettier and cuter about it.

The name was actually kind-of a roast on myself, because I originally meant to use it for a new private twitter, and naming a mopey private space after a song called Town Cryer felt ironic and apt, lol.

But then, I got into kpop, and it became my kpop twitter. "teddy bear tender" soon became my joyful alter ego, away from the rest of my Self online. Obviously, I love idols with my whole entire heart – from the Beatles to Prince to Matsujun to Kihyun. I always have, even since I was a child. I've had a hard time expressing whatever confusing queerness is tangled inside me, but embracing this side of me makes it all make a little more sense.

So, this site, then, is the ultimate form of my Teddy self. It's nice to be free. I don't really update here too often, but it's my little home away from home online. Hope you enjoy your stay and looking at my idol collage diary here.

xoxo,
Teddy